Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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