How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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