I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
