im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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