just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
