Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
