I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
