There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
