Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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