How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize