I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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