I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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