your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's official drugs can't kill me
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
