We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
