So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
