glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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