You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
That accounts for only three of the penises
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
