Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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