i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
