One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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