Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
