If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize