He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
