If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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