Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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