is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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