i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize