we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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