Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
