Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize
