I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
