Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
