elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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