that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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