oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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