I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
