yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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