I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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