Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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