he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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