she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
