Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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