We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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