I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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