one might say we're banned from that church
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
