ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
