i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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