I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
