A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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