dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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