My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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