my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
