when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
