also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
