I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
