These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
