thus making me awesome and them whores
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
How external is "for external use only"?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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